I don’t know why but this comment made me pause and think about why you gave her a pass and not the other woman. What “eccentricities” could give someone a pass from something you see as so rude especially when the same thing is said by another?

Touching someone’s hair is rude. However, I don’t know if it’s racist being fascinated by beautiful hair styles on another because you cannot ever do because that style.

My hair is straight and fine and won’t do much of anything. Frankly it’s boring. I envy people who can do lots of different things to their hair. I so want thick wavy hair. Seems like every woman I know wants hair different from what they have naturally.

I once had a black co-worker who would touch my cheek and tell me I was “so white”. We were waitresses together and she was way way older then I was at the time and not really friends. It never occurred to me to attribute racism or anything to her actions. It was just kind of weird. But then again I don’t know if she could be guilty, under today’s standards, of racism since she was black. Maybe she was just eccentric.